Intro...

For the most part, this blog has been created to document the trials & tribulations in my parenting adventure. It is my hope that I will, one day, be able to look back on the posts that will follow and have fond memories of these days.

My husband and I went to high school together but never spoke to one another. Several years after high school we began chatting on, of all places, MySpace. That led to our first date, watching The DaVinci Code and eating Coldstone Ice Cream. That was a Wednesday. On Friday he invited me to his house to watch a movie. Long story short...I never left. We lived together ever since. My parents thought I was CRAZY. Looking back I believe they were right. Thank goodness it worked out because I sure would have looked like a fool had it not.

We began casually trying to conceive six months into our relationship. Again, another CRAZY thing to do. We literally conceived on the first try. I got my first BFP on Christmas morning. We were elated! Everything seemed to be going really well until the end of January. I, unfortunately, had my first miscarriage on January 27th. Everyone assured us that this happens all of the time and is quite common. So, although we were devastated we took what we deemed to be the appropriate amount of time to grieve and began to try to conceive again. We tried for another year with absolutely no luck. Then, one day in early December I got another BFP. This was it! We were finally pregnant again! Then on January 28th I, once again, miscarried. Our hearts were crushed. There were no words to express how we felt and it was even harder for our loved ones to understand what we were going through. Throughout our mission to have a baby two of my sisters had babies and I cannot even explain how hard it was to see them with their babies and have to put on a happy face and pretend like I was so happy for them. In all honesty I was jealous beyond words. I wanted to be them so bad. I wanted MY baby to wake me up in the middle of the night. I wanted to be so consumed with my child that I didn't have time to shower in three days. I was crushed.

We decided it was time to visit my OB-gyn to try to figure out what the problem was. After several tests for my husband and I they told us he had a very low sperm count and low motility. There was no way we were going to conceive again on our own and, according to the doctor, our only option was IUI. They were not able to give any explanation for my miscarriages. I was so confused. We were not able to conceive on our own and never would be able to yet we had conceived twice before. We decided we were going to take the next year (2010) to enjoy life and discuss our options. In January 2011 we would seek the assistance of a fertility specialist. In April 2010 my husband told me he thought I was pregnant. His only reason for thinking this was that I was eating a lot more than normal. I thought he as crazy but to shut him up I decided to take a pregnancy test. I just needed to prove him wrong. I took the test and POSITIVE! Most people would be guarded and pesimistic. Not me. I was beyond optimistic. I knew this was the one. This was my baby that I'd hold in my arms in nine (actually ten) months! My pregnancy was absolutely amazing. I soaked up every moment and obsessively listened to my baby's heartbeat using the doppler I bought. Then in July we went to the doctor for our gender/anatomy ultrasound. The lady told us there was no doubt...we were having a BOY! We cried like we'd never cried before. Tears of joy. We knew his name...Tanner.

My son is 3 1/2 months old right now and I am so grateful that God chose me to be his mom. I am truly blessed. There are days when I can barely keep my eyes open but that's what Starbucks is for :)

I look forward to documenting our family's milestones through this blog!